Total your responses (out of 24)…
Big shout out to Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. for her work in “Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life,” which you can find: https://www.amazon.com/Come-You-Are-Surprising-Transform/dp/1476762090/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=come+as+you+are&qid=1611605389&sr=8-1
Sexual Inhibition System (SIS): This is your sexual brake.
Sexual Excitation System (SES): This is the accelerator of your sexual response.
Low SIS (0-6)
You’re not so sensitive to all the reasons not to be sexually aroused. You tend not to worry about your own sexual functioning, and body image issues don’t interfere too much with your sexuality. When you’re sexually engaged, your attention is not very distractible, and you aren’t inclined to describe yourself as “sexually shy.” Most circumstances can be sexual for you. You may find that your main challenge around sexual functioning is holding yourself back, reining yourself in. Staying aware of potential consequences can help with this.
Medium SIS (7-13)
You’re right in the middle. This means that whether your sexual brakes engage is largely dependent on context. Risky or novel situations, such as a new partner, might increase your concerns about your own sexual functioning, shyness, or distractability from sex. Contexts that easily arouse you are likely to be low risk and more familiar, and anytime your stress levels- including anxiety, overwhelm, and exhaustion- escalate, your brakes will reduce your interest in and response to sexual signals.
High SIS (14-20)
You’re pretty sensitive to all the reasons not to be sexually aroused. You need a setting of trust and relaxation in order to be aroused, and it’s best if you don’t feel rushed or pressured in any way. You might be easily distracted from sex. High SIS, regardless of SES is the most strongly correlated factor with sexual problems, so if this is you, pay close attention to the “sexy contexts” worksheets in “Come as you are.”
Low SES (0-7)
You’re not so sensitive to sexually relevant stimuli and need to make a more deliberate effort to tune your attention in that direction. Novel situations are less likely than familiar ones to be sexy to you. Your sexual functioning will benefit from increasing stimulation (for instance, using a vibrator) and daily practice of paying attention to sensations. Lower SES is also associated with asexuality, so if you’re very low SES, you might resonate with some components of the asexual identity.
Medium SES (8-15)
You’re right in the middle, so whether you’re sensitive to sexual stimuli probably depends on the context. In situations of high romance or eroticism, you tune in readily to sexual stimuli; in situations of low romance or eroticism, it may be pretty challenging to move your attention to sexual things. Recognize the role that context plays in your arousal and pleasure, and take steps to increase the sexiness of your life’s contexts.
High SES (16-24)
You’re pretty sensitive to sexually relevant stimuli, maybe even to things most of us aren’t generally very sensitive to, like smell and taste. A fairly wide range of contexts can be sexual for you, and novelty may be really exciting. You may like having sex as a way to de-stress- higher SES is correlated with greater risk for sexual compulsivity, so you may want to pay attention to the ways you manage stress. Make sure you create lots of time and space for your partner; because you’re sensitive, you can derive intense satisfaction from your partner’s pleasure, so you’ll both benefit!